Another Step in the Healing Process

It's extremely dark every morning I wake up and go to work. It's extremely dark in more than once sense of the word. Did I ever envision myself at 27 working in the security field? Probably not. Did I ever envision myself being such a great meteorologist that I would have to keep my forecasts and new scientific ideas secrets to protect my well being? Not a chance in hell, not even in 2001.
These are very dark days for me. I created a weather model to allow me to forecast weather well over 20 days in advance and I put it together so I could have the opportunity to combine my weather expertise with my financial gut in the natural gas market. The Natural Gas market is mostly controlled by weather, this is where the majority of hedge funds make their money trading natural gas futures. They hire meteorologists that are capable of looking long term to give them the necessary weather information to make the most money possible for their clients. The greatest of great meteorologists work for the Hedge Funds, because that's where they money is. The second best work at the universities and the third tier are involved with weather modification in the United States Military.
Unfortunately after saving for 3 years I'm still waiting on a reply from MF(Man Financial) as to the status of my application. As far as I'm aware of I've met all the financial qualifications to maintain an account and I expressed my intentions as to what I wanted to trade and that I would definitely have my own personal cap for the number of contracts that I would trade. My total liquidity would never exceed the liabilities from the contracts. In other words, if my trade went the wrong way in a hurry I would be able to cover with cash and not need a loan to pay for my losses. It's just another stumbling block in my quest to be a meteorologist and to help people.
Lately I've never been as worried for my life as I ever have been. I keep advancing with my meteorological skills and no one is ever going to stop me. The problem I have now is that I've discovered the link between earthquakes and weather. There is a good side and a bad side to this. The good side would be that if I were to work with the USGS and use my weather theories, we could forecast earthquakes (not all but probably on the order of 75 or 80% )several weeks in advance. The flip side of the coin, I know how to use weather modification to target cities around the globe. I could be in Central Russia, modify the weather there for a couple of weeks and wind up wiping out Seattle, Los Angeles, Dallas and New York City in about a weeks time from major earthquakes. I understand now how to modify the weather and use it to target cities for potentially major earthquakes.
Knowing that our government knows this and the Russians and Chinese know this, it scares me to no end that somewhere I'm targeted by someone to be put 6' under. I already know that Satan has it out for me not to mention our Government and the powers that run it, otherwise I would have had my futures account opened by now.
I would still like answers as to why NSA was constantly kicking me offline in 2002 when I had dial up whenever I would discover another piece of the USAF's weather modification project. I would still like answers as to why my phone was tapped, why I was followed to UMBC each morning for two weeks in March '02,why my e-mails to friends and others figuring out what our Military was doing, were being deleted and delayed to the sender, I'd still like to have answers to why I would be periodically stalked, why the USAF sprays BWI to hose me out of my snow in order to get the planes in, why NSA hacked into my computer and monitored my AIM discussions revolving around weather modification. It sucks when you know they make your life miserable and basically prevent you from ever doing what you love to do. It's not right that NSA gets to steal my hard work and talent for the "better of the country", put money and pats on the back to the NSA Gestapo watching me, while I'm not compensated a fucking dime and left with deep scars as the trust that exists between me and my government has been destroyed. This isn't their role as outlined by the US Constitution. The US Govt's role as outlined by the US Constitution is to promote me to become better, not run me into the ground, emotionally,physically, and spiritually.